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Funny Books WARNING: These Books Will Make You Laugh Out Loud! |
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Princess Pinecone knows exactly what she wants for her birthday this year. A BIG horse. A STRONG horse. A horse fit for a WARRIOR PRINCESS! But when the day arrives, she doesn't quite get the horse of her dreams... This is a laugh-out-loud story of brave warriors, big surprises, and falling in love with one unforgettable little pony. |
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Everyone knows that piranhas don't eat bananas -- except for Brian. This little fish loves to munch not only on bananas, but on fruit of all kinds! Brian's piranha friends think he's crazy. Piranhas don't eat bananas -- their sharp teeth are for eating meat! And there's a scrumptious pair of feet dangling in the water nearby... |
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Jeremy is a worrier. He worries about mismatched socks, spotted bananas, evil squirrels, burnt toast, dinosaurs, and, most of all . . . the wind! His friend Maggie isn’t worried about anything. As she says, "What’s the worst that could happen?" Then, on a very windy day, Jeremy's biggest fear comes true when he is blown right out of his shoes and up into the sky! Soon he finds himself on an adventure along with sled dogs, a narwhal, and some pirates. Jeremy quickly learns that a little courage can lead to the most exciting experiences. And once he returns home, Jeremy can't wait for Maggie to join him on his next adventure. |
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Poor Duncan just wants to color. But when he opens his box of crayons, he finds only letters, all saying the same thing: His crayons have had enough! They quit! Blue crayon needs a break from coloring all those bodies of water. Black crayon wants to be used for more than just outlining. And Orange and Yellow are no longer speaking—each believes he is the true color of the sun. What can Duncan possibly do to appease all of the crayons and get them back to doing what they do best? |
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When the humans head out to go camping, the animals settle in for a relaxing holiday of their own! Teen bear takes over the bathroom with her curling iron, the beavers prepare their fanciest recipes, and the deer kick up their feet for a dance party. What starts as a little unwinding soon escalates to a big mess, just in time for everyone to head home. . . . |
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Monster Trouble by Lane FredricksonNothing frightens Winifred Schnitzel—but she DOES need her sleep, and the neighborhood monsters WON'T let her be! Every night they sneak in, growling and belching and making a ruckus. Winifred constructs clever traps, but nothing stops these crafty creatures. What's a girl to do? (Hint: Monsters HATE kisses!)
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Bare bear! Stop right there! Underwear!
Under where?
So begins the dialogue between a tired bear dad and a rambunctious bear cub who would rather play with his tighty whities than get into bed. Underwear makes great hair. It can even turn one into a superbear, or a goggle-wearing swimming bear. But beware of a big scare! |
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It's the first day of school for Penelope Rex, and she can't wait to meet her classmates. But it's hard to make human friends when they're so darn delicious! That is, until Penelope gets a taste of her own medicine and finds she may not be at the top of the food chain after all. . . . |
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It’s your birthday, and little do you know that an unwelcome guest has joined in on the festivities. A friendly cockroach has snuck undetected into the house, and has proceeded to join in on all of your fun party games. You were so excited to finally spot him napping on top of your birthday cake, having eaten his fill, that you couldn’t help but scream! You think he’s gone when your dad sucks him up in the vacuum cleaner . . . but with a birthday party this good, he’s going to be nearly impossible to keep away! |
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Cheeky Chick can’t help being cheeky—he just wants to explore. With a dollop of luck and under the watchful eye of the farmyard animals, he learns a valuable lesson that he can pass on to the next generation of eager chicks!
A funny, characterful picture book that children will want to read again and again.
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An excited Duck wants to hang out with Bear. But Bear’s gone fishing for a whole week and is happy to finally get a second alone. What will Duck do while Bear is gone? How will he survive without his best pal?! |
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This cookie has never felt like a smart cookie no matter how hard she tries, especially in comparison to all the clever cupcakes and brilliant rolls in the bakery. Will a dash of creativity and a sprinkle of confidence be enough to help her learn that perfect scores and having all the answers aren’t the only ingredients for intelligence? |
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Sharko and Hippo by Elliott Kalan When Sharko calls for a boat, Hippo pulls out a goat. He wants a pole, but Hippo gives him a pail. And instead of bait, a beet and a boot! Hippo’s coat pockets seem to have everything except what Sharko asks for! Will their fishing trip ever get off the ground?
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Potato is excited because today―for one day only― Lance Vance’s Fancy Pants Store is selling . .POTATO PANTS! Potato rushes over early, but just as he’s about to walk in, something makes him stop. What could it be? |
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Can you beat Mr. Fox at his Game of No? The rules are simple: every time he asks a question, you must respond with “NO.” If you accidentally say “YES,” then it’s back to the beginning of the book for you, where you must start all over again. Are you ready? (Oops!) Do you live on planet Earth? Are you stronger than a baby? What does Y-E-S spell? (Argh!) Kids will giggle uncontrollably as they gamely aim to avoid Mr. Fox’s clever traps—but just ask them if they’d like to read this book again, and they won’t be able to resist: “YES!” |
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This is a story about a mouse with BIG ideas. Mouse believes he is a tiger, and he convinces Fox, Raccoon, Snake, and Bird he's one, too! After all, Mouse can climb a tree like a tiger and hunt for his lunch, too. And not all tigers are big and have stripes. But when a real tiger shows up, can Mouse keep up his act? |
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You might think a book with no pictures seems boring and serious. Except . . . here’s how books work. Everything written on the page has to be said by the person reading it aloud. Even if the words say . . .BLORK. Or BLUURF.
Even if the words are a preposterous song about eating ants for breakfast, or just a list of astonishingly goofy sounds like BLAGGITY BLAGGITY and GLIBBITY GLOBBITY.
Irresistibly silly! |
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You know how to count, right? GREAT! There are LOTS of fun things to count in this book: whales, baboons, rainbows, pyramids . . .There's just one rule. You must ONLY ever count to ONE. So don't even about THINK bigger numbers. OK?!
Get ready to show off your skills in this fun new counting book! But not everything is as it seems . . . is this book really only about counting to ”ONE?” Because there are SO MANY fun things that you could count. But wait —maybe there's a way to outsmart the book . . . and count all the way up to 100!
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Reuben the bear's got donuts for everyone in his scout troop, but his friends are all staring at something else: there's a wet spot on Reuben's pants, and it's in a specific area. "WHO WET MY PANTS?" he shouts, and a blame game starts. His buddies try to reassure him there was no crime. Just an accident. It could happen to anyone! But as all the clues begin to point in Reuben's own direction as the culprit, Reuben must come to terms with the truth. |
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It’s time for the little red chicken’s bedtime story — and a reminder from Papa to try not to interrupt. But the chicken can’t help herself! Whether the tale is Hansel and Gretel or Little Red Riding Hood or even Chicken Little, she jumps into the story to save its hapless characters. Now it’s the little red chicken’s turn to tell a story, but will her yawning papa make it to the end without his own kind of interrupting? |
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Chicken has some unexpected and exuberant cow visitors who have exciting plans for jumping, dancing, and wiggling on his teeny-tiny couch, and Chicken is none too happy about it. That is until the fun concludes with a quiet, cozy and delicious nap for all! |
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A is for Awake . . . but B is for Bedtime.
When the narrator of this alphabet book tries to make it a bedtime book, Banana objects. Bedtime is BORING! And Banana is the star of this book, so it should really be called B Is for Bananas instead. It shouldn't be about bedtime at all!
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When a bus driver takes a break from his route, a very unlikely volunteer springs up to take his place-a pigeon! But you've never met one like this before. As he pleads, wheedles, and begs his way through the book, children will love being able to answer back and decide his fate.
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Step one: fill the bath
Step two: put the cat in the bath
Step three: put shampoo on the cat
Step four: rinse the cat
Step five: dry the cat
Seems simple, right? One problem: the cat has no intention of doing ANY of these things! Watch as the steps keep changing, the cat keeps escaping, the girl keeps eating cookies and the mess keeps escalating. Soon it's not just the cat who needs a bath--it's the whole house! |
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Wolf dreams of tasty sheep—sheep sandwiches, sheep sushi, sheep tacos! In his clever sheep costume, he infiltrates the friendly neighborhood herd, blending in by helping with chores, reading bedtime stories to the lambs, and working up a sweat in sheep aerobics class. Wolf’s sneaky plan works so well, he becomes part of the family. And suddenly, the sheep don’t seem quite as tasty. . . . |
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"A fly was flying. He was looking for something to eat. Something tasty. Something slimy. A boy was walking. He was looking for something to catch. Something smart. Something for The Amazing Pet Show." The boy and fly meet and so begins a beautiful friendship. Er, and so begins a very funny friendship! |
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Jack and the Lady take the train West to visit a dude ranch. One night, there's a bank robbery next door, and Jack is pegged as the bandit. But thanks to Jack's new rope tricks, the real robber is caught, and Jack leaves the Wild West a free rabbit with a big secret.
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When a young girl chooses two shoes that don't match for a daddy and me day, the shoes are shocked and dismayed. |
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The Good for Nothing Button by Charise Mericle Harper Red Bird and Blue Bird are excited to try the button. But when they press it, they discover that the button makes them happy. Happy is something! A flabbergasted Yellow Bird insists the button does nothing. But it sure does seem to be making him mad. Mad is something!
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Walt and his friends are growing up fast! Everyone is the something-est. But . . . what about Walt? He is not the tallest, or the curliest, or the silliest. He is not the anything-est! As a BIG surprise inches closer, Walt discovers something special of his own! |
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Mr. Monkey bakes a cake. He can’t wait to win a ribbon! But first he has to carry it to the contest. What could possibly go wrong? |
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Ducks Run Amok! by J. E. MorrisWhen a flock of ducks arrives at an unsuspecting turtle's pond, the turtle is mistaken for a green duck and can't seem to convince anyone otherwise. Can the turtle find a way to take back the pond and get some peace and quiet once more?
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What is chasing Duck? Is it something wild and hairy? Does it have big teeth? Who will help protect Duck? I misunderstanding spirals totally out of control! |
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In I Lost My Tooth!, Zoom Squirrel has lost a front tooth! The Squirrels leap into action when they discover the missing tooth is a baby tooth! Do you know more about teeth than the Squirrels do? You will by the end of this book! |
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Gerald is careful. Piggie is not.
Piggie cannot help smiling. Gerald can.
Gerald worries so that Piggie does not have to.
Gerald and Piggie are best friends.
In Let's Go for a Drive! Gerald and Piggie want to hit the road! But the best-laid plans of pigs and elephants often go awry. |
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Koko Dodo the cookie chef has a big problem. Today is the day of the royal cookie contest and someone has stolen his top-secret fudge sauce! Luckily, a spy enters the scene just in time (or rather, crashes in on her roller skates): Didi Dodo! This might be Didi's first case ever, but she has a daring plan to help Koko. They go on a wacky caper full of high speed chases and big belly laughs! |
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Thanks to a series of unfortunate bites, eleven-year-old Tom is a triple threat: he's a Vam-Wolf-Zom. And just in time for the first day of middle school. So much for his Invisible Tom Plan. He never thought to make a What If I Turn Into A Vampire Werewolf Zombie Plan. Maybe it's time for a Run Away and Live Somewhere Else Plan? With the help of his irrepressible best friend, Zeke, Tom tries to accept his future. Zeke thinks being a Vam-Wolf-Zom sounds EXCELLENT! (Zeke thinks everything sounds EXCELLENT!) At least he'll be able to stand up to the sixth-grade bully. The question is will the rest of Hamilton Middle School accept the Vam-Wolf-Zom, too? |
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Before Mac Barnett was an author, he was a kid. And while he was a kid, he was a spy. Not just any spy. But a spy...for the Queen of England. The precious Crown Jewels have been stolen, and there's only one person who can help the Queen of England: her newest secret agent, Mac B. Mac travels around the globe in search of the stolen treasure...but will he find it in time? |
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Frederick Frederickson has a food-chain theory about life. There are lions, like the school bully. Gazelles, like the bullied kids. There are meerkats, and the fleas that live on the butts of meerkats. Frederick's a flea.
Fifth grade is off to a terrible start when Frederick is sent to a disciplinary camp for troublesome boys. His fellow troop mates―Nosebleed, Specs, The Professor, and little-yet-lethal Ant Bite―are terrifying. But in between trust-building exercises and midnight escape attempts, a tenuous friendship grows between them. This is lucky, because a Category 5 hurricane is coming and everyone will have to work together―lions and fleas alike―to survive!
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They sound like bad guys, they look like bad guys and they even smell like bad guys. But Mr. Wolf, Mr. Piranha, Mr. Snake, and Mr. Shark are about to change all of that...Mr. Wolf has a daring plan for the Bad Guys' first good mission. They are going to break two hundred dogs out of the Maximum Security City Dog Pound. Will Operation Dog Pound go smoothly? Will the Bad Guys become the Good Guys? And will Mr. Snake please stop swallowing Mr. Piranha?! |
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Two is a crowd when Peter and his little brother Fudge are in the same room. Grown-ups think Fudge is absolutely adorable, but Peter and his pet turtle, Dribble, know the truth. From throwing temper tantrums to smearing mashed potatoes on the wall, Fudge causes mischief wherever he goes!
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Meet Shivers, the scaredy-est pirate to ever sail the Seven Seas. Along with his best friend, Margo, and his loyal fishmate, Albee, Shivers battles a giant squid, discovers hidden treasures, and gets pooped on by a pigeon to save his parents from the clutches of evil. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll never eat snails again. So put on your pantaloons, batten down the hatches, and join Shivers on his first (but still very dangerous) adventure. |
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Ever since the monster apocalypse hit town, Jack Sullivan has been living in his tree house, which he's armed to the teeth with catapults and a moat, not to mention video games and an endless supply of Oreos and Mountain Dew scavenged from abandoned stores. But Jack alone is no match for the hordes of Zombies and Winged Wretches and Vine Thingies, and especially not for the eerily intelligent monster known only as Blarg. So Jack builds a team: his dorky best friend, Quint; the reformed middle school bully, Dirk; Jack's loyal pet monster, Rover; and Jack's crush, June. With their help, Jack is going to slay Blarg, achieve the ultimate Feat of Apocalyptic Success, and be average no longer! Can he do it? |
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Pet owners beware!
Bad Kitty really needs a bath, and she is being forced to take one! The following are some items you will need for Kitty's bath: one bathtub, plenty of water, dry towels, a suit of armor, a letter to your loved ones, clean underwear (because stressful situations can cause "accidents"), an ambulance in your driveway with the engine running, and, oh, yeah, you'll also need Kitty . . . but good luck with that! |
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Meet the Chicken Squad: Dirt, Sugar, Poppy, and Sweetie. These chicks are not your typical barnyard puffs of fluff, and they are not about to spend their days pecking chicken feed and chasing bugs. No sir, they’re too busy solving mysteries and fighting crime.
So when Squirrel comes barreling into the chicken coop, the chicks know they’re about to get a case. But with his poor knowledge of shapes (“Big” is not a shape, Squirrel!) and utter fear of whatever it is that’s out there, the panicky Squirrel is NO HELP. Good thing these chicks are professionals.
But even professionals get worried. Especially once they see that round, shiny, green, BIG thing in the yard. What if it’s a UFO full of aliens who want chickens as pets, or worse, dinner? It’s up to the Chicken Squad to crack a case that just might be out of this world. |
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Matilda is a sweet, exceptional young girl, but her parents think she's just a nuisance. She expects school to be different but there she has to face Miss Trunchbull, a kid-hating terror of a headmistress. When Matilda is attacked by the Trunchbull she suddenly discovers she has a remarkable power with which to fight back. It'll take a superhuman genius to give Miss Trunchbull what she deserves and Matilda may be just the one to do it! |
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Meet Bink and Gollie, two precocious little girls — one tiny, one tall, and both utterly irrepressible. Setting out from their super-deluxe tree house and powered by plenty of peanut butter (for Bink) and pancakes (for Gollie), they share three comical adventures involving painfully bright socks, an impromptu trek to the Andes, and a most unlikely marvelous companion. |
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by John Dougherty Welcome to the kingdom of Great Kerfuffle!
Great Kerfuffle is really great. And there's usually a kerfuffle (the clue's in the name really). This particular kerfuffle started the day Stinkbomb's twenty dollar bill went missing. Stinkbomb and his little sister Ketchup-Face know exactly who took it: the badgers. After all, they're called badgers because they do bad things; otherwise they'd just be gers.
They bring news of the badgers' treachery to King Toothbrush Weasel (don't get us started on the story behind his name…), who sends them on a quest to rid the land of badgers. What follows is a full on kerfuffle-fest, containing: one deep dark forest, a grocery cart in distress, a song about jam--and, of course, a band of very tricky badgers. |
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Andy and Terry live in a treehouse. But it's not just any old treehouse, it's the most amazing treehouse in the world!
This treehouse has thirteen stories, a bowling alley, a see-through swimming pool, a secret underground laboratory, and a marshmallow machine that follows you around and automatically shoots marshmallows into your mouth whenever you are hungry.
Life would be perfect for Andy and Terry if it wasn't for the fact that they have to write their next book, which is almost impossible because there are just so many distractions, including thirteen flying cats, giant bananas, mermaids, a sea monsters pretending to be mermaids, enormous gorillas, and dangerous burp gas-bubblegum bubbles!
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Kung Pow Chicken is the superhero everyone has been waiting for! Gordon Blue transforms into Kung Pow Chicken, an avian superhero who fights crime in the city of Fowladelphia. The first book in the series kicks off when Gordon's birdy senses lead him to a festival. Suddenly, POOF! Feathers fill the air and shivering naked chickens are everywhere. Why have all these chickens lost their feathers? Forced to wear wooly sweaters, the city itches for a hero. Kung Pow Chicken hops into his Beakmobile to save the day! |
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What do REAL PIGEONS do? They fight crime, of course! Wait, what? You didn't know your town is protected by a secret squad of crime-fighting feathered friends? Well, you are about to get schooled. REAL PIGEONS solve mysteries! REAL PIGEONS fight bad guys! And REAL PIGEONS won't stop until your neighborhood is safe and the questions are all answered: Like, why have all the breadcrumbs disappeared? And which food truck smells the best? |
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Take Timmy Failure—the clueless, comically self-confident CEO of the best detective agency in town, perhaps even the nation. Add his impressively lazy business partner, a very large polar bear named Total, and what you have is Total Failure, Inc.! |
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Rafe Khatchadorian has enough problems at home without throwing his first year of middle school into the mix. Luckily, he's got an ace plan for the best year ever: to break every rule in his school's oppressive Code of Conduct. Chewing gum in class: 5,000 points! Running in the hallway: 10,000 points! Pulling the fire alarm: 50,000 points! But when Rafe's game starts to catch up with him, he'll have to decide if winning is all that matters, or if he's finally ready to face the rules, bullies, and truths he's been avoiding. |
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Max Crumbly is about to face the scariest place he’s ever been: South Ridge Middle School. There’s a lot that’s great about his new school, but there’s also one big problem—Doug, the school bully whose hobby is stuffing Max in his locker. If only Max could be like the hero in his favorite comics. Unfortunately, Max’s uncanny, almost superhuman ability to smell pizza from a block away won’t exactly save any lives or foil bad guys. But that doesn’t mean Max won’t do his best to be the hero his school needs! |
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When Tomas discovers a strange old tree at the bottom of his grandfather's garden, he doesn't think much of it. But he takes the funny fruit from the tree back into the house and gets the shock of his life when a tiny dragon hatches! The tree is a dragon fruit tree, and Tomas now has his very own dragon, Flicker! While Tomas finds out that life with Flicker is fun, he also finds that it is very...unpredictable. Yes, dragons are wonderful, but they also set fire to your toothbrush and leave your underwear hanging from the TV antenna. Tomas has to learn how to look after Flicker---and quickly! And then something extraordinary happens: more dragon fruits appear on the tree! Now it's official, Tomas is growing dragons. |
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Carson Cooper realizes that he has a very inconveniently located stain on his pants. That is NOT the way to start things off on the first day of school. Fortunately, Carson finds a letter written by last year's fourth graders stuck to the bottom of his desk with some watermelon bubble gum. The note explains the existence of Locker 37, which will provide a solution to any problem! And when Carson sneaks off to the locker it does, indeed, provide a solution--an eraser! But the problem is that the eraser works a little too well, erasing anything it's rubbed against three times. ANYTHING. |
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Live each day as if it were your last.
When Ben reads his fortune-cookie fortune, he's alarmed and inspired. Immediately, he begins drafting a bucket list of unfinished tasks and lifelong dreams (finish his 1000-piece model of the Taj Mahal, eat an entire cake, etc....). |
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He'll make you laugh...he'll make you cry...but above all, he'll make you hungry! Follow Stick Dog as he goes on an epic quest for the perfect burger! |
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With their Very Exciting Spy Technology and their tried-and-true, toilet-based travel techniques, the InvestiGators are undercover and on the case! And on their first mission together, they have not one but two mysteries to solve! Can Mango and Brash uncover the clues, crack their cases, and corral the crooks—or will the criminals wriggle out of their grasp? |
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George and Harold have created a new breed of justice. With the head of a dog and the body of a human, this heroic hound digs into deception, claws after crooks, rolls over robbers, and scampers after squirrels. Will he be able to resist the call of the wild to answer the call of duty? |
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Longwood Public Library800 Middle Country RoadMiddle Island, New York 11953
(631) 924-6400
longwoodlibrary.org |
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